30 day challenge: day 4!

Day 4: Your views on religion.

These topics get more and more personal. My views on religion are complicated as is the subject. I was born and raised Catholic. I went to church every Sunday and was in Sunday school as well. I believe in God, a higher being, a higher power, etc. I don't think religions are so different, we all worship a higher being or power. The only difference is what we call that higher being. I believe we should all love and care about one another and I think if we all actually practiced that, the world would be much easier to live in. Religion, to me, is something that human beings created to give them hope in bad times. When people are helpless or sad or desperate, it's always comforting to know there is something out there bigger than yourself that you can confide in and trust. I don't think religion is a bad thing and I don't think it should be so seperated from state because like I said, we all believe in the same higher power, we just call them different names. I also think some religions can learn from  others and I think that everyone should have some kind of faith. Faith and hope is what gets people by in day to day life. I seem to take things from each religion I learn about. So, I would say I am Catholic, not a practicing Catholic anymore but I still have faith in a higher power than myself. I believe in Heaven, the afterlife, etc. I do think that our soul goes somewhere else when we die and that creates great comfort. No one wants to think when they die, that's it. I think whatever your religion is, it's all the same. Faith, hope, belief, peace and love is all we ever want. No matter who we ask if from.

When good intentions go wrong

Since when does doing the right and mature thing blow up in your face? Since when does trying to make people happy blow up in your face? Oh wait, that happens all the time which should be a lesson learned. So in short, don't do something just to please someone else because then they are going to keep expecting you to do things to make them happy at your expense.

I did something I thought was mature and was the right thing to do and then I was expected to read minds. I don't read minds, I don't know what you're thinking if you don't tell me. I am pretty good at reading body language and when someone is expressing through their movements and actions that they don't want to communicate or interact with you, what are you supposed to do? I need that answer because then this whole thing could have been avoided. 

I am the kind of person who is shy. I was taught to speak only when spoken to but once I get to know you, I let my guard down and I'm actually really nice. I hate making people uncomfortable, I hate making people wait, I hate letting people down, I hate when people think I'm a bitch because I'm so quiet and shy, I hate being mad at people, I hate people feeling as though I don't care when I do, I hate people feeling as though I'm unappreciative when I am and I hate people thinking they know what I'm thinking when they don't. 

I'm not a mean or disrespectful person but I don't read minds so if I think someone is mad or upset with me and I apologize for whatever I did to make them feel that way, I'm not going to chat them up. I'm going to keep my distance because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Is that wrong? Why am I being blamed for something when I didn't do anything but what I thought was right?! It's sad and hurtful. It hurts my feelings. So, after I went out on a limb and apologized, I should assume the person forgives me and act like nothing ever happened? I'm not that kind of person. If someone says something to me, I respond with either "I agree", "I don't agree." or "I don't know what I feel right now or how to respond.". HOW HARD IS THAT?! But, that's not the case here. That rule of consideration doesn't apply here. I have to do what is right and what is good for everyone but when it comes to me, the communication is out the door. I get the shaft, I get pushed aside, I get swept under the rug. All that needed to be done was communication. I communicated my sorrow and it was left hanging there and I was supposed to take that and assume that everything was okay. 

I feel extremely wronged in this situation especially after I tried to do what was right the first time around. It's so frustrating. It makes you not want to do what is right. It makes you want to only look out for yourself. It makes you not want to care about anyone else. But, I will do what is right and look out for others and care about everyone else anyways. Because, that's the right thing to do. And hopefully that will get me somewhere. 

xx

Oops missed a couple!

Ok, so I totally have not been keeping up with the Kardashians and doing this 30 day challenge. So, I'll just start where I left off...Day 3!

Day 3 is going to be about my views on drugs and alcohol. This is a good topic. Ok, so lets start with drugs. I've never tried drugs...I don't like the idea of them. I do have a system in my head of what I consider to be the worst and the not so worst. To me, anything you have to inject is scary. Which is every drug except marijuana...I think. Drugs just scare me. Honestly, they change who you are, they make you a slave to them and they can ultimately kill you. People use drugs to self medicate mainly. A trauma in life or things they can't deal with, they use drugs to suppress those feelings and the thoughts. It's scary now though, that even prescription drugs can be abused. I feel like drugs are a waste of time. They get you high for a moment and then you're down and you want more. They take over your life and make you so dependent on them, that's all you care about and you give up everything for them. Now, some people can take drugs and they don't affect them. That's all fine and dandy but it's still illegal and they are still drugs. I might offend some people I know but I'm not trying to, this is merely my opinion. I know people personally who do drugs and it's their choice. I'm not the police. I just don't think that drugs are a good thing. They are glorified in Hollywood as the cool thing to do but they aren't. In reality, they are dangerous and ruin lives.

Now on to alcohol. I am not going to lie, I drink. I drink to get drunk and I have fun doing it. But as I get older, I realize I can have fun without getting drunk and I'm soooo over the hangover the next morning. Drinking is more accepted in our society because it always has been. My view on it is mixed. I like getting drunk. I hate that it impairs your judgement and can kill you if you're not careful. Like drugs, alcohol is dangerous but I believe in small doses alcohol is okay. I think if someone needs a drink to take the edge off, it's fine. But when someone needs a couple of drinks to even start their day, then it's a problem. I don't know, it's a confusing subject to me because I like to drink but at the same time I know the dangers it poses and yet I still do it. I guess it's kind of like drugs except it's not illegal unless you are operating a vehicle and you aren't injecting it.

Well, those are my views on drugs and alcohol. Again, my opinion and not to be taken as a judgement on anyone who does drugs or alcohol. :)


xxx

30 Day Challenge: Day 2

Where I'd like to be in 10 years. The first thing on my list is be married with kids. I'll be 37 in ten years time and I would like to think by then I'd have a family. I would also like to be successful. Financially independent and stable. Possibly have my own boutique. Or jewelry line. I'd also like to be well traveled. Travelling seems hard now that I'm older and I see how expensive it is to travel far. But it's sooooo worth it. It gives you a better perspective on the culture you live in. I want to have visited Paris in ten years. I got close a year ago but didn't quite make it. I want to be involved in some sort of charity or cause. I want to have ran a marathon for a cause. 10 years seems far away but I graduated high school almost ten years ago now and it has FLOWN by. I'm sure there is alot more on my list of things to do and places to be in ten years. I better get started. 

30 Day Challenge

So, everyday for 30 days I will have different topics to talk about and that gives me something to do since I am extremely behind in my fashion postings. For today the topic is Your current relationship and how it is, which is perfect because I love talking about the person I love.

My relationship status is happily taken. I met my boyfriend about 9 months ago and we've been dating for 6 months. We actually had a mutual connect through his older sister who I went to school with and was good friends with. I always knew she had a younger brother but never really met him until this year when I started working at a restaurant I had worked at years ago. He was a server and I was a hostess and at first we didn't really talk even though I thought he was hot and he apparently felt the same about me. I did not know he was my friends' brother until one night while we were working, his sister came into the restaurant and saw me and said hi and she said my brother works here too! So we were introduced then and there. That kind of broke the ice and we began talking more and one night I had gone to a hockey game and afterwards went up to the restaurant to have a couple of drinks and he was getting off work the same time. So he sat with me and we talked a bit then he asked me if I wanted to go to another bar and I said YES so off we went. And by the end of the night we were laughing and making out..lol. And that rest is history. We have the same sense of humor, he ALWAYS makes me laugh and though I'm 3 years older than him, we have alot in common. So, that's our story. I always love hearing about how people met and our story is pretty cool! I can't wait to see what our future holds. <3

In Style Fall 2011 Review

Fall is my favorite season for fashion. It's where all the rules are laid out for the rest of the year until next Fall. If you look on the shelves, you will find magazines as big as the Bible this time of year. And they kinda are bibles of fashion. I have so far been able to read Vogue and InStyle Fall magazines and it's taken me hours to get through them! So, I've decided to review and kind of summarize tips and trends that I think are worth knowing. It will take a few posts to do it so stay tuned!

Some September launches:


1. St. John jewelry Swarovski crystals, at SJK.com

2. Chanel's Karl Lagerfeld teams up with Macy's!!!

3. Mawi London teams up with Disney Couture for the Minnie Mawi collection, at Disneyshopping.com

4. Anna Sui's new collection for Hanky Panky's 25th anniversary, at Hankypanky.com

5. Monique Lhullier launches a line for Saks Fifth Ave.

6. Queen Latifa launches a line for HSN.

7. Jennifer Lopez has shoes, clothing and home decor now at Kohl's.

8. Dolce & Gabana has a new sunglasses line!

Thought those were some neat collaboration/launches/etc for this Fall. Something to look forward to for sure.

Some things InStyle is loving at the moment:

Big cuff sleeves

Cool patent & cork combo shoes

Sparkle

Lace mini

Flowers

Eyelets

White suit

Soft leather jacket

The Boyfriend jean

Brimmed hats

The no-suit suit

Cross body bags

One more plus for this post from InStyle is Alexander Wang's tips for Fall 2011!

1. Focus on outerwear: Elevates a sporty silhouette like a puffer coat in quilted silk or a poncho that has a shirttail.

2. Be subversive or at least a little irreverent: A twist on the traditional, like wearing a plain pullover with a crazy killer shirt.

3. Rethink the shirt: Go for one that is longer and made in flowing chiffon with an unexpected detail like a high buttoned collar or a dickey bib. Think dressed up tuxedo shirt without the starch.

4. While you're at it, rethink pants: algam of tuxedo, track & ski pants. Also tailored pants with pockets to stick your hands in or satin stripes on the sides for polish.

5. Mix it up: Don't get stuck copying whats on the runways. Mix designers.

6. Go casual for evening. You don't have to buy sexy to look sexy. Surprise people by doing the unexpected. Wear a furry heeled sandal with a little black dress. Women have erogenous zones besides cleavage. Find yours.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of my summary/highlights from InStyle magazine Sept 2011.

XXXXX

Fall 2011 trends, Part 1

This is a quick round up of what some of the fashion blogs and magazines are listing as the top trends for this Fall which is not too far away, it’s September already for Christ’s sake! So, below is a list of some of the trends I think are wearable for the normal girl/woman.



1. Plaid blazers: Last year it was just blazers, now it’s plaid blazers! We will be seeing more plaid this Fall in other articles of clothing.


2. Vests: Same as blazers, plaid plaid and more plaid!


3. Mustard: In terms of colors, mustard goes perfect with jewel tones and it perfect for the Fall since it can be seen in nature in the Fall.


4. Polka Dots: Make it modern. Don’t do a polka dot dress, pick just a skirt with a modern cut or a blouse and pair it with skinny jeans.


5. Rust: Same as mustard, in terms of color, rust can be found in nature and is therefore perfect for Fall.


6. Camo-inspired: This does not mean full head to toe camo, inspired means camo design with a modern twist. The colors in camo are found in nature as well, the greens, beiges and browns.


7. Maxi skirts: For the summer it was maxi dresses, now its maxi skirts. Pair them with a cozy sweater and some ankle boots and you’re set!

8. Chunky sweaters: The chunkier the better! Cozy and in organic colors.



9. Touch of lace: Last year it was full lace, this year it’s just a touch here and there. Less is more.


10. Jade: This color paired with mustard or rust is amazing. As with all the colors this season, nature is your biggest inspiration.


11. Bright pants: My favorite! Bright pants are the new neutral. Pair them with jewel tones or just plain neutral pieces. Make the pants the center of your outfit.


12. Cape/poncho: This is a repeat from last Fall. The cape/poncho jacket stuck around for a year and is back again so you might be able to find some at resale stores or thrift shops.


13. Leather skirt: I am so glad I did not get rid of my leather skirts! They are back! And with slits!

his is what I gathered and I hope it helps. I can tell you it helped me, I’m ready for the cold weather! Enough with the 100+ days. ENJOI!

Where have I been all your life?

Wow, it's been a while since I've been on here and frankly it feels good! I miss typing and just writing whatever I want. I will admit I haven't been keeping up with the fashion aspect of this blog as I had in the past but I am ready to get back to it. I've been working two jobs and I am rarely at home or near the internet long enough to sit and write but I guess something is better than nothing. I think it hit me last weekend when I saw the September issue of Vogue on the shelf at a 7/11 that it's already freaking SEPTEMBER! It's Fall, Fall Fashion is the best and it's already here! In the past, I kept up with the upcoming trends and posted them on here and on my facebook and this year I have had no time. It's really sad because this is my life and I don't want to fall behind on these things. SO! I'm here tonight to get back into the groove and do what I do best. Alright here we go!

College Fashion Collection

College Fashion

Haus of Shay Expanded!

Haus of Shay is expanding and is taking you with it! Stop by and see the newest designs on the coolest apparel. I have everything from shirts to tanks to totes available for sale with unique and fresh designs. Get St. Patty's day shirts just in time for all the celebrations this weekend and next with 24-48 hour delivery available. Check. It. Out.

http://hausofshay.spreadshirt.com/

Simple Things

Typing in your user name and password at the speed of light


Finding hidden compartments in things you already own

The kids table

Walking on grass with bare feet

When a cop finally passes you after driving behind you for a while

Sitting on your freshly made bed and admiring your work after cleaning your room

Making the first foot print in the snow

Drawing on steamy mirrors with your fingers

Looking at all the hair on the floor after you just got a hair cut

Correctly guessing the actor voicing the animated movie character

Learning a new keyboard shortcut

Watching cream go into coffee

Letting the waves bury your feet at the beach

When you’re in the fastest moving lane in a traffic jam

When your roommate cleans the place while you’re away

Listening to couples tell you how they met

Dancing when you’re home alone

The moment on vacation when you forget what day of the week it is

-Don't forget to check out my new shop for Haus of Shay clothing and more. Click link on this post.
 
XX

It's been too long.

Successfully navigating your home in the dark.

Unpacking the last box.

Staring into a fire.

When you’re sleeping and the sounds around you turn into your dreams.

Finding out what song is in that commercial.

Watching bartenders work really fast.

Laughing at a stranger with another stranger.

When you hit something with your car and there’s somehow no damage.

The smell of a library.

When someone already highlighted your text book,

The day the cafeteria serves the best food they have.

The meal you eat after a cold.

Lazing on the couch after a big holiday feast.

When the wrapping paper pattern lines up perfectly when you go to tape it.

Wearing your boyfriends’ sweatshirt.

Finally cleaning your disgustingly filthy windshield.

All the food that comes from a pig.

Seeing old people hold hands.



Haven’t been writing on here lately. Well, two jobs and school will do that to you. Oh yea and no working internet at your apartment…thanks Verizon. Well, now that I have a chance to breathe, I think I can squeeze in a few things to say.



Number one, where has the time gone? March 2011 already? Time does fly. And summer is just around the corner! If you haven’t already seen my trend report for Spring/Summer 2011, get to it!

Number two, I have been reading a few books lately and by few I mean like 6 in the past two months…it used to take me months to get through one book, let alone 6! Well, as suggested by a friend, I should do a few book reviews. So, here we go:



1. Conversations with God Books 1 & 2: Amazing book for everyone. It’s not as religious as it sounds. The first book is an introduction book. Explaining how the books will be laid out. It’s still amazing and opens your eyes to the world around you. Like I said you don’t have to be religious to read these books. Just have to have faith. The second book deals with society. Our place in it and our relationships to people around us. I give both books two thumbs up because they weren’t what I was expecting at all but they helped me nonetheless.

2. Gunn’s Golden Rules: Life’s Little Lessons for making it Work: SO FUNNY! Yet so inspiring and true. Tim Gunn has a lot of wisdom up his sleeve and this book shows what he really knows. It’s as if he is talking directly to you but not in a know it all way. So cute and just a must read if not for anything but Tim’s funny stories.

3. The Bell Jar: Incredible. Dark, funny and interesting all at the same time. Written by Sylvia Plath as one of her first and only (I think) novels. Loosely based on her life, which was interesting enough.

4. Daughter of Fortune: Great book! Great story! And in the Oprah Book Club. It’s a period novel, set in the 1800’s and written in amazing detail! So vivid and beautifully written, you easily visualize everything down to the dirt on the ground.

5. Style A to Zoe: Written by the great Rachel Zoe, it’s an introduction book to style. Anyone and everyone who has wanted to get a few tips on style or who needs a style overhaul, should pick up this book. Great pictures, amazing stories and awesome tips on everything fashion and glamour. Plus, it’s written by on e of the most successful and talented stylist in the world, so you know it’s all good advice.

6. Neon Angel: A Memoir of a Runaway: An autobiography of the Cherry Bomb herself, Cherie Curie of the Runaways, absolutely amazing and heart wrenching book! This girl has been through things I never could have imagined. All before she was 21! This sad but true story of the life of Cherie Currie and her friendship with Joan Jett, The Runaways, her family, drug abuse and her life after it all, is a great read. Keeps you on the edge of your seat, you won’t want to put it down except maybe to get out the tissues.



So there you have it. I forgot how therapeutic writing can be. Enjoy!



xxxxxx

We all need each other

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Somewhere, in a time like our own, a father is pensively trying to solve the world's problems when his little boy come in and says "Father I want to help." The weary man appreciates the gesture but only feels the child's presence as a hindrance. But the boy persists. So, the father takes a map of the world and rips it into little pieces, gives them to the boy and says, "I know you like puzzles. You can help by piecing the world back together." The boy protests, "But Father, I don't even know what the world looks like!" His father laughs, "Nonetheless, this is how you can help," and he sends him off, expecting that this will occupy his son for days.

And so the pensive man returns to his weary reflections. Two days later, his son comes bounding in, shouting, "Father! Father! I've put the world back together!" And sure enough, all the torn pieces are taped into a beautiful whole. His father is stunned. "But how did you do this?"

The boy is eager to show him and turns the map of the world over, saying, "On the back was a picture of a person, Father. I put the person back together and then turned it over and the world was back together!"



XX

68th Annual Golden Globes! Fashion Edition

Pinks and Nudes and Greens, OH MY! The theme of the 68th annual Golden Globes. The gowns were nothing short of on trend for the spring season. Tons of pinks and strapless dresses graced the red carpet and these ladies pulled it off. I have to say I didn't really see one dress I didn't particularly like this time around. That's because all the dresses were somewhat similar, every dress had at least two trends. Long sleeves and the color nude must have been on every stylists mind this year. It was either older actresses or very fashion forward ones that were able to pull off the long sleeved look. My favorite long sleeved look was Angelina in Atelier Versace. Green is definitely her color. She wears it well aside from the black she id always donning. It was a bit 80's glitter but it still worked and long sleeves dresses are here to stay this season. Next color we saw allot of was PINK! Everything from hot pink to light peach pink. It was so fresh to see such a delicate color on the red carpet and I fell in love with almost every pink dress. My favorite was a tie between Emma Stone in Calvin Klein and Lea Michelle in Oscar De La Renta. Two different dresses, same hue and I'm torn. The light pinks were by far the best of the pink bunch but the hot pinks were a burst of color the red carpet sometimes needs. Dark blues seemed to pop up every once in a while. Tina Fey in L'Wren Scott and Mandy Moore in Monique Lhuillier did a great job with their choices of the dark hue. Very simple and elegant. When I think of black for the red carpet, I’m not totally sold. I think, unless done correctly, black can be such a downer color on a dress and totally kill it. But this year, I was surprised. My favorite black dress was Eva Longoria in Zac Posen. Classic and form fitting, perfect on her small frame. But I'm sure the most talked about black dress was Halle Berry in vintage Nina Ricci number and all I have to say is she's still got it! She looked in shape and healthy and happy. The dress was risqué but tasteful with the sheer long skirt attached which can be seen across the runways for Spring 2011. Red, that classic Hollywood color, didn't seem to make an appearance this year. All in all, around two or three actresses donned the color. My favorite? Christina Hendricks in Romona Keveza. And for the color of the night: NUDE! Peachy tones were definitely a hit this year. Everyone from Megan Fox in Armani Prive to Sandra Bullock in Jenny Packham were wearing nude in some shade or another. And I don't think any of them got it wrong. It's hard to wear nude with certain skin tones and it's hard to wear certain shades of nude but the light pinkish nudes that graced the red carpet were spot on. I was torn here too between Nicole Kidman in Prada and Mila Jovovich in Armani Prive. Now onto the styles of the night. There were a few but not many. First of course, the one shouldered look that has been repeating itself for a couple of seasons. Classic one shouldered looks on Julia Stiles in Romona Keveza, Edie Falco in Valentino and Lea Michelle once again in Oscar De La Renta. The strapless look stole the show with its classic Modern Hollywood flair. Everyone who didn't have a one shouldered or long sleeved look was sporting the strapless. Elizabeth Moss in Donna Karan, Catherine Zeta Jones in Monique Lhuillier (both green by the way) and Diana Agron in J Mendel. A big surprise and refreshing sight was the long sleeved look which seemed to be the new look of the year. Annette Bening in Tom Ford, Angelina Jolie again in Atelier Versace and even Anne Hathaway in Armani Prive. All in all, my favorite thing about the Golden Globes is of course the dresses but also the movies and TV shows. I watch allot of both so this was a triple threat night. Congratulations for Glee, Black Swan, The Social Network and The Kids are Alright for their multiple wins. A fun night and some interesting water cooler talk the next day. XX

Tom Ford

Atelier Versace

Georges Hobeika

 

 Armani Prive

 Donna Karan

 Monique Lhuillier

 Vera Wang

 Calvin Klein

 Calvin Klein

 Vintage Yves St Laurent

 Lanvin

 Oscar De La Renta

 Vera Wang

 Viktor & Rolf

 Valentino

 Atelier Versace

 Romona Keveza

 Romona Keveza

 Marchesa

 Zuhair Murad

 Zac Posen

 Vintage Nina Ricci

 Monique Lhuillier

 L/Wren Scott

 Marchesa

 Romona Keveza

 Zuhair Murad

 Armani Prive

 Armani Prive

 Prada

 Elie Saab

 Badgley Mischka

 Burberry

 Valentino

 Jenny Packham

 Max Azria Atelier

Michael Kors

Here's to you!

What the hey! Where has 2010 gone?? I think this has been the most interesting and memorable year to date. I've been through everything from pure happiness to utter heartbreak in a matter of 12 months! And I wouldn't change it for the world. I am happy to start over though in 2011 and be everything I know I can be. Or at least start trying. I have tons of resolutions for 2011 and sticking with them will be a test of time. I want to go into 2011 with a whole new perspective and I can honestly say I will. I am so grateful to each and every one of my family members and friends, who have become like my family. I've never known such love before or at least I just wasn't aware of it. I plan on being more aware of the moment and doing things that make me happy. I am here for a reason and have been thru what I've been thru for a reason. I intend to fully honor this gift that God has given me and do the best I can. I'm just so grateful and it's a great feeling. I know one day I will accomplish all I set out to accomplish. But I can't do it without love and I'm glad I have such love from people I admire most. So, this past year with all its trials and turbulations, all its joy and amazing moments, will never be forgotten. I am grateful I get to experience life to its fullest, love to its fullest, happiness to its fullest, sadness to its fullest and much more. We are all here for each other and I am blessed to have so many here for me. I hope everyone gets to experience life in this way because its the only way to live. Don't let anyone tear you down, don't let anyone tell you you can't do something, you are the creator of your life, no one else. Go into this new year with love and passion for everyone and everything. Love each other like they're one of your own. Be compassionate to those who may harm you and be strong. Life is full of crazy things that can make you want to just give up. Don't. Give. Up. You carry your soul with you when you leave but you do it no good to cut it's life here on Earth short. Live everyday as if it's your last though. Don't forsake anyone or take them for granted. Always choose love over anger or fear. Lastly, everything, and I mean Eh-Ver-Ra-Thin-Guh (LOL) happens for a reason. Look for the good in all that happens to you, even when you don't think you can. Well, ESPECIALLY when you think you can't. I can't wait for the new year! I know this year is going to be a good one! Happy New Year everyone! xx

Here goes nothing.

For some reason, I feel compelled to write something. I am not a therapist or a psychologist or a relationship guru and seeing my relationship record, I'm the last person to be giving any kind of advice on this subject. I'm just going to speak from experience and a revelation I made currently. Something inside me is saying "do it", so here goes nothing.




Recently, I had a major setback in my romantic life. 3 years later and I'm back to square 1. Back, where I was 3 years ago. A broken relationship behind me and a scary, empty future ahead. But this time would be different. I was determined to not make the same mistakes. I could live with myself better if I learned from my ways and changed so I would not be in this situation again. Heartbreak is hard and can drive you insane if you let it. Needless to say, I don't ever want to feel this way again so I had to make some changes. To be quite honest, and not to be waving the religion flag, but I found faith. I am not a religious person per say, I was raised in a religious family but times are so different now that there are alot of things that can sway you. So, I've been swayed for sure and I'm not saying now I've been saved or anything but I definitely believe there is something or someone else bigger than us out there. I'm just saying I'm not writing here to preach the gospel or wave a Jesus flag. Whatever you believe is perfectly fine but it all goes into the same category. Faith. Because see, I recently read a book called The Secret and in it they praise the laws of nature, laws of the universe. Pretty convincing stuff but if you just replace the Universe with God or with Buddha or with aliens, it's all the same. Human kind needs faith. And faith is what got me through this difficult time.



I am writing all this for myself but also for a friend. A friend who just got dealt her romantic setback card too. I know EXACTLY how she feels. To the very last drop. I want to help. Writing is therapeutic for me and writing this for her will be something she can always come back to and it's far easier than texting it all, haha.



Now relationship setbacks, break ups, trial separations, divorce can all take a toll on you. Emotionally and physically. I have no idea how much weight I lost but I know my jeans don't fit quite as well as they used to. My emotions would go up and down and be more unpredictable than Texas weather. It's natural. Succumb to it but monitor it. I just always try to tell myself, I am not alone. That's most peoples' worst fear, to be alone. I am not the first, last or only person who's gone through this and my friend just proves my point. We ALL as some point have experienced heart break. Whether from losing a loved or from some clown who let you go because he couldn't see your worth. Comfort in numbers my friend. Remember you are not alone.



So now that the heart break has happened and you are in shock or in denial, take a step back. The battle is half way over. That initial pain and shock is the strongest you will through out this whole thing. So cry it out! Let all that pain come and let it all out. Just remember, this is the worst you will feel and it's almost over. The sooner you let it all out, the sooner you will feel better and feel more alive. I know it hurts so bad you feel like you just want to die and believe me, there will be days where you just wish you won't wake up. But it’s all just a feeling. It's not real and if it comes, let it come but know that it's not real. Feel the pain and then tell it you don't believe in it. Please, know it's not real. The worst part is almost over.



The next part is fun. Finding yourself. You gave sooooo much of yourself to someone and they've gone and thrown it all away. They just lost big time. They just lost the lottery and they will realize it soon enough. It's been about two weeks or more since my romantic downfall but I have made enormous strides. Not to brag haha. One of those strides is faith and I will talk more about that later. Also, everything happens for a reason is my new motto/mantra. Knowing you are worth more than your weight in gold is so important. Listen to me, I sound like an old lady, but those grandma words are true. Grandmas know what they are talking about. Took me a long time and this horrific incident to realize that. To realize I am so valuable. I did things that made me feel good. Talking, writing, reading and laughing have done wonders for me. They are like the super healers of a broken heart. Super glue for your soul. You will be stronger and heal faster if you focus on you. Try to figure out things that make you happy because nothing boosts your confidence more than when you are happy and love yourself. I did a little exercise I found on the internet, listing things you pride yourself on or that make you proud of you. Because in this world, there are alot of horrible people, sneaky people, dishonest people, so if you are none of those, you are already miles ahead of everyone else. The one who let you go, broke your heart, chewed you up and spit you out has a higher chance of landing one of these horrible people than finding someone like you ever again. I wrote down my list and I have to say, I am pretty cool. I am smart, funny, caring, kind, family oriented, talented and faithful. Make a list now and see how great you are! Chances are you are alot greater than you thought.



Ok so after much soul searching and finding out about myself, I realized at this time in my life, only I can make myself happy. I realized I am in control of my sadness and happiness. Only I know what makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants, only I know what makes me truly content and what makes me feel loved. So I sought those things out. Family, friends, funny movies, jokes, drawing, designing, writing are all things that make me happy. Out of sight, out of mind. Delete that face book account if seeing them makes you angry, delete their number if you think that threes an off chance you might call them when you are drunk and don't go to the places they frequent if you think seeing them will hurt you more. Tell yourself whatever they do now that you are broken up is to either hurt you or to help them cope as well. Let their lives vanish from your mind and focus on your life. Ok, sorry back on track. Find happiness again through whatever moves you. For me it was family, friends, shopping and my obsession with fashion that made me happy again. Pretend you never met the ogre and get you back. Haha. It's easier said than done but give it a try.



So, now I am at a good place. I want to talk about my last step or the final stage. I found rather quickly. I've read plenty of relationship books, articles, watched videos, you name it. They tell you to put on a happy face (which you should do), they say go out and have fun (which you better do) and they say laugh laugh laugh (which really is the best medicine). But they never say have faith. Have hope, which they should. With a break up, it can seem like the biggest thing in the world and if you try to get through it alone, you will end up being crushed. You need help with it and it's ok to ask. Have faith in the world again. Not everyone you meet will hurt you so don't get bitter. Your world won't stop spinning so don't try to make it. Have faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it just yet. Have faith that there is something bigger and better out there for you and in order to get to it you have to suffer a little. I see it as kind of like payment for the great thing I am going to receive one day. I am paying for it in pain and that makes it so much more worth it. Sounds weird, I know but go with me. Some people have faith in God, some in Buddha and some in aliens but whatever your faith is, use it. Give it all your trust that everything will work out and watch it work. Just know there is a reason for this and you will be better off for having gone through this. Go with it. Give your faith to someone or something and go with it. Your life will work out the way you want it to, just believe it. You can't control anyone else's life so don't try. Just worry about yours. Trust your life to faith and hide out and wait for the storm to pass. What doesn't break you makes you stronger and the human heart and soul is so flexible. Nothing can break it unless you let it. My hiding place is faith. I am now just hiding under a protective wing until this storm passes. And it will. Now, I'm not trying to wave a Jesus flag or trying to preach anything, I'm just saying that having hope and faith that things will be ok in the end is crucial to surviving this. I recently read a book about faith and was in shock at how much it moved me. It was exactly what I needed at that moment and I know it was someone or something that put me in the path of this book. And now my pieces are slowly getting put back together. So please whatever or whoever you believe in as far as your faith, give them your pain and trust them to make it better. Trust that they have a plan for you and whether to you that's God, the universe, aliens or a squirrel or all of the above. Put your trust in them. Life will work itself out and this will soon be over. It will be a weight lifted off your shoulders and you will be able to move on with you.



xxx



If you are the religious type, I suggest reading the book I read. Email me if you want the title.



Shanette

Vanity Fair Mock Interview

I have been reading Vanity Fair lately and never realized how many great interviews they had and great articles as well. Not to mention all the fashion! Well, I thought it would be cool to answer some of their questions too, as if I were a famous somebody. Of course, they have more in depth questions in the interviews but some might be a bit personal for me to share. :) Fun times commence!




Dream

-Holiday: Anywhere with a beach.

- Mode of Transport: Plane, you get to where you're going faster.

- Wardrobe: Chanel

- Home: A 1900's restored house.

- Live to see: A woman president.

- Medical Cures: AIDS and cancer.

- Collection: All things Hello Kitty

- Gadget: Time Machine.

- Concert: Christina Aguilera

- Dinner party: OMG, where do I start? God, Oprah, Selena, Coco Chanel, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Andy Warhol, Michael Kors, Johnny Depp, Mondo, Lady Gaga, Sandra Bullock, Christina Aguilera, Karl Lagerfeld, Cher, Whitney Houston, George Clooney, Betty White, and soooo many more.

- Meal: Anything my mom makes.

- Possession: Superhuman Powers.

- Conversation: Oprah.

- Color Palette: Jewel Tones.

- To live: Paris.

- Car: 1970's Mercedes.

- Partner for an adventure: My brother.

- Muse: It's a tie, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn.

- Closet- Mary Kate and Ashleys'.



Now some deeper questions:

- What is perfect happiness to you? Being with my family.

- Greatest fear? Being rejected.

- Historical figure you identify with: Marie Antoinette.

- Living person you admire: My parents.

- Trait you deplore in others: Ignorance.

-Trait you deplore in yourself: Impatience.

- Favorite Journey: To England.

- Most overrated virtue: Excellence.

- When and where are you happiest: In nature or with family.

- Most overused word or phrase: I have alot. "Lord" being one of them. "Well", "Ok?!" and "I know right?". Haha.

- Greatest love of your life: Fashion.

- Talent you want: To cook.

- Greatest Achievement: So far, just living.

- Treasure possession: Family.

- Favorite Occupation: Student. Love learning.

- Value in friends: Loyalty.

- How would you like to die: Eww, morbid. I would like to die happily.

- What would you like to come back as, if you had a choice?: A man.

- Motto?: Everything happens for a reason.

- Greatest Extravagance: Clothes.

- Greatest regret: Not being brave enough.

- Quality you admire most in a woman: Strength.

-Quality you admire most in a man: Tenderness.

- Favorite writer?: Not really a writer but poet; Sylvia Plath.

- Dislike most?: Intolerance.

xxxx

Today's simple things...

1. Hanging your hand out of the car window.

2. When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio.

3. Multi-tasking while brushing your teeth.

4. The parking lot pull thru.

5. Paying for something in exact change.

6. Getting in line before it gets really long.

7. The other side of the pillow.

8. Crying.

9. Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid.

10. Pouring a drink where the bubbles go right to the top but not over.

11. New socks day.

12. Watching something download really fast.

13. When you know your TV remote so well, you don't have to look at the buttons.

14. Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you are going the speed limit anyway.

15. Getting recognized for something you love.

16. Thinking it's Thursday when it's really Friday.

17. Getting the last piece of sleep out of your eye.

18. Sleeping with one leg under the covers and the other leg out.

19. Stepping in the shower when it's already the perfect temperature.

20. When batteries are included.

x

Simple things in life...

Make the world go round sometimes.

1. The last, crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips.
2. Finding money you didn't know you lost.
3. Being the first table called up for the buffet at a wedding.
4. Picking up Q and U at the same time in Scrabble.
5. Blowing your nose in the shower.
6. Real bearded Santas.
7. Being the guy in the construction crew who gets to hold the 'Stop" sign.
8. Planning for snoozes.
9. Being the first ones in the movie theatre.
10. Sneezing 3 or more times in a row.
11. Rain hair.
12. When cashiers open up new check out lanes.
13. The first shower you take after not showering for a couple of days.
14. Your pillow.
15. The smell of rain on the hot sidewalk.
16. The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter.
17. Finally getting a piece of popcorn out of your teeth.
18. Watching the Price is Right when you're home sick.
19. Getting the eyelash out of your eye.
20. Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row.

To be continued.....

The time has come, the walrus said.

Dear strong woman,

The time has come. To lay down your armor and sword. You can't fight this battle anymore. You bled your heart out for this fight. You thought it was worth it at the time. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and move on. The battle is over and you lost. But you didn't lose everything. You still have love in your heart. You still have family and friends who adore you and all the love in the world to give someone someday. You will not say anything bad or anything good about this battle. It was hard and you fought until you almost died. You fought so hard, it cost you a lot of things. But you will emerge now with your head held high because you know you did what you could. You didn't want to give up. It wasn't your choice but you can’t go on fighting a battle that your partner has checked out of. You were fighting time and it got too much. You're stubborn so you didn't give up so easily but you can't fight a battle alone and you're no Wonder Woman. This is also a good time too because this is when you find out who is really there for you. Who is really on your side. For some people it will be hard to take a side and you have to understand and don't hold it against them. You're not going to be bitter and not going to go out of your way to make things more difficult for anyone. It's time for you to fight your own battles by yourself. You've got a lot of things to do and this was a lesson learned. A hard lesson. One you shouldn't forget because you don't want to feel this way again. It's hard to go into the future when it seems dark and you've got no more ammunition. You can't fight right now if you wanted to. Now it's time to get on your ship and sail away. It will be hard to navigate alone at first but you'll get the hang of it. And then someone will come along when they are ready and jump on board with you so you can sail off into the sunset What is life with no one to share it with? So go off into the sunset alone and those who matter will follow and catch up eventually.



Vaya Con Dios. X