Friday, December 31, 2010

Here's to you!

What the hey! Where has 2010 gone?? I think this has been the most interesting and memorable year to date. I've been through everything from pure happiness to utter heartbreak in a matter of 12 months! And I wouldn't change it for the world. I am happy to start over though in 2011 and be everything I know I can be. Or at least start trying. I have tons of resolutions for 2011 and sticking with them will be a test of time. I want to go into 2011 with a whole new perspective and I can honestly say I will. I am so grateful to each and every one of my family members and friends, who have become like my family. I've never known such love before or at least I just wasn't aware of it. I plan on being more aware of the moment and doing things that make me happy. I am here for a reason and have been thru what I've been thru for a reason. I intend to fully honor this gift that God has given me and do the best I can. I'm just so grateful and it's a great feeling. I know one day I will accomplish all I set out to accomplish. But I can't do it without love and I'm glad I have such love from people I admire most. So, this past year with all its trials and turbulations, all its joy and amazing moments, will never be forgotten. I am grateful I get to experience life to its fullest, love to its fullest, happiness to its fullest, sadness to its fullest and much more. We are all here for each other and I am blessed to have so many here for me. I hope everyone gets to experience life in this way because its the only way to live. Don't let anyone tear you down, don't let anyone tell you you can't do something, you are the creator of your life, no one else. Go into this new year with love and passion for everyone and everything. Love each other like they're one of your own. Be compassionate to those who may harm you and be strong. Life is full of crazy things that can make you want to just give up. Don't. Give. Up. You carry your soul with you when you leave but you do it no good to cut it's life here on Earth short. Live everyday as if it's your last though. Don't forsake anyone or take them for granted. Always choose love over anger or fear. Lastly, everything, and I mean Eh-Ver-Ra-Thin-Guh (LOL) happens for a reason. Look for the good in all that happens to you, even when you don't think you can. Well, ESPECIALLY when you think you can't. I can't wait for the new year! I know this year is going to be a good one! Happy New Year everyone! xx

Friday, December 17, 2010

Here goes nothing.

For some reason, I feel compelled to write something. I am not a therapist or a psychologist or a relationship guru and seeing my relationship record, I'm the last person to be giving any kind of advice on this subject. I'm just going to speak from experience and a revelation I made currently. Something inside me is saying "do it", so here goes nothing.

Recently, I had a major setback in my romantic life. 3 years later and I'm back to square 1. Back, where I was 3 years ago. A broken relationship behind me and a scary, empty future ahead. But this time would be different. I was determined to not make the same mistakes. I could live with myself better if I learned from my ways and changed so I would not be in this situation again. Heartbreak is hard and can drive you insane if you let it. Needless to say, I don't ever want to feel this way again so I had to make some changes. To be quite honest, and not to be waving the religion flag, but I found faith. I am not a religious person per say, I was raised in a religious family but times are so different now that there are alot of things that can sway you. So, I've been swayed for sure and I'm not saying now I've been saved or anything but I definitely believe there is something or someone else bigger than us out there. I'm just saying I'm not writing here to preach the gospel or wave a Jesus flag. Whatever you believe is perfectly fine but it all goes into the same category. Faith. Because see, I recently read a book called The Secret and in it they praise the laws of nature, laws of the universe. Pretty convincing stuff but if you just replace the Universe with God or with Buddha or with aliens, it's all the same. Human kind needs faith. And faith is what got me through this difficult time.

I am writing all this for myself but also for a friend. A friend who just got dealt her romantic setback card too. I know EXACTLY how she feels. To the very last drop. I want to help. Writing is therapeutic for me and writing this for her will be something she can always come back to and it's far easier than texting it all, haha.

Now relationship setbacks, break ups, trial separations, divorce can all take a toll on you. Emotionally and physically. I have no idea how much weight I lost but I know my jeans don't fit quite as well as they used to. My emotions would go up and down and be more unpredictable than Texas weather. It's natural. Succumb to it but monitor it. I just always try to tell myself, I am not alone. That's most peoples' worst fear, to be alone. I am not the first, last or only person who's gone through this and my friend just proves my point. We ALL as some point have experienced heart break. Whether from losing a loved or from some clown who let you go because he couldn't see your worth. Comfort in numbers my friend. Remember you are not alone.

So now that the heart break has happened and you are in shock or in denial, take a step back. The battle is half way over. That initial pain and shock is the strongest you will through out this whole thing. So cry it out! Let all that pain come and let it all out. Just remember, this is the worst you will feel and it's almost over. The sooner you let it all out, the sooner you will feel better and feel more alive. I know it hurts so bad you feel like you just want to die and believe me, there will be days where you just wish you won't wake up. But it’s all just a feeling. It's not real and if it comes, let it come but know that it's not real. Feel the pain and then tell it you don't believe in it. Please, know it's not real. The worst part is almost over.

The next part is fun. Finding yourself. You gave sooooo much of yourself to someone and they've gone and thrown it all away. They just lost big time. They just lost the lottery and they will realize it soon enough. It's been about two weeks or more since my romantic downfall but I have made enormous strides. Not to brag haha. One of those strides is faith and I will talk more about that later. Also, everything happens for a reason is my new motto/mantra. Knowing you are worth more than your weight in gold is so important. Listen to me, I sound like an old lady, but those grandma words are true. Grandmas know what they are talking about. Took me a long time and this horrific incident to realize that. To realize I am so valuable. I did things that made me feel good. Talking, writing, reading and laughing have done wonders for me. They are like the super healers of a broken heart. Super glue for your soul. You will be stronger and heal faster if you focus on you. Try to figure out things that make you happy because nothing boosts your confidence more than when you are happy and love yourself. I did a little exercise I found on the internet, listing things you pride yourself on or that make you proud of you. Because in this world, there are alot of horrible people, sneaky people, dishonest people, so if you are none of those, you are already miles ahead of everyone else. The one who let you go, broke your heart, chewed you up and spit you out has a higher chance of landing one of these horrible people than finding someone like you ever again. I wrote down my list and I have to say, I am pretty cool. I am smart, funny, caring, kind, family oriented, talented and faithful. Make a list now and see how great you are! Chances are you are alot greater than you thought.

Ok so after much soul searching and finding out about myself, I realized at this time in my life, only I can make myself happy. I realized I am in control of my sadness and happiness. Only I know what makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants, only I know what makes me truly content and what makes me feel loved. So I sought those things out. Family, friends, funny movies, jokes, drawing, designing, writing are all things that make me happy. Out of sight, out of mind. Delete that face book account if seeing them makes you angry, delete their number if you think that threes an off chance you might call them when you are drunk and don't go to the places they frequent if you think seeing them will hurt you more. Tell yourself whatever they do now that you are broken up is to either hurt you or to help them cope as well. Let their lives vanish from your mind and focus on your life. Ok, sorry back on track. Find happiness again through whatever moves you. For me it was family, friends, shopping and my obsession with fashion that made me happy again. Pretend you never met the ogre and get you back. Haha. It's easier said than done but give it a try.

So, now I am at a good place. I want to talk about my last step or the final stage. I found rather quickly. I've read plenty of relationship books, articles, watched videos, you name it. They tell you to put on a happy face (which you should do), they say go out and have fun (which you better do) and they say laugh laugh laugh (which really is the best medicine). But they never say have faith. Have hope, which they should. With a break up, it can seem like the biggest thing in the world and if you try to get through it alone, you will end up being crushed. You need help with it and it's ok to ask. Have faith in the world again. Not everyone you meet will hurt you so don't get bitter. Your world won't stop spinning so don't try to make it. Have faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it just yet. Have faith that there is something bigger and better out there for you and in order to get to it you have to suffer a little. I see it as kind of like payment for the great thing I am going to receive one day. I am paying for it in pain and that makes it so much more worth it. Sounds weird, I know but go with me. Some people have faith in God, some in Buddha and some in aliens but whatever your faith is, use it. Give it all your trust that everything will work out and watch it work. Just know there is a reason for this and you will be better off for having gone through this. Go with it. Give your faith to someone or something and go with it. Your life will work out the way you want it to, just believe it. You can't control anyone else's life so don't try. Just worry about yours. Trust your life to faith and hide out and wait for the storm to pass. What doesn't break you makes you stronger and the human heart and soul is so flexible. Nothing can break it unless you let it. My hiding place is faith. I am now just hiding under a protective wing until this storm passes. And it will. Now, I'm not trying to wave a Jesus flag or trying to preach anything, I'm just saying that having hope and faith that things will be ok in the end is crucial to surviving this. I recently read a book about faith and was in shock at how much it moved me. It was exactly what I needed at that moment and I know it was someone or something that put me in the path of this book. And now my pieces are slowly getting put back together. So please whatever or whoever you believe in as far as your faith, give them your pain and trust them to make it better. Trust that they have a plan for you and whether to you that's God, the universe, aliens or a squirrel or all of the above. Put your trust in them. Life will work itself out and this will soon be over. It will be a weight lifted off your shoulders and you will be able to move on with you.


If you are the religious type, I suggest reading the book I read. Email me if you want the title.


Thursday, December 16, 2010

Vanity Fair Mock Interview

I have been reading Vanity Fair lately and never realized how many great interviews they had and great articles as well. Not to mention all the fashion! Well, I thought it would be cool to answer some of their questions too, as if I were a famous somebody. Of course, they have more in depth questions in the interviews but some might be a bit personal for me to share. :) Fun times commence!


-Holiday: Anywhere with a beach.

- Mode of Transport: Plane, you get to where you're going faster.

- Wardrobe: Chanel

- Home: A 1900's restored house.

- Live to see: A woman president.

- Medical Cures: AIDS and cancer.

- Collection: All things Hello Kitty

- Gadget: Time Machine.

- Concert: Christina Aguilera

- Dinner party: OMG, where do I start? God, Oprah, Selena, Coco Chanel, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Andy Warhol, Michael Kors, Johnny Depp, Mondo, Lady Gaga, Sandra Bullock, Christina Aguilera, Karl Lagerfeld, Cher, Whitney Houston, George Clooney, Betty White, and soooo many more.

- Meal: Anything my mom makes.

- Possession: Superhuman Powers.

- Conversation: Oprah.

- Color Palette: Jewel Tones.

- To live: Paris.

- Car: 1970's Mercedes.

- Partner for an adventure: My brother.

- Muse: It's a tie, Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn.

- Closet- Mary Kate and Ashleys'.

Now some deeper questions:

- What is perfect happiness to you? Being with my family.

- Greatest fear? Being rejected.

- Historical figure you identify with: Marie Antoinette.

- Living person you admire: My parents.

- Trait you deplore in others: Ignorance.

-Trait you deplore in yourself: Impatience.

- Favorite Journey: To England.

- Most overrated virtue: Excellence.

- When and where are you happiest: In nature or with family.

- Most overused word or phrase: I have alot. "Lord" being one of them. "Well", "Ok?!" and "I know right?". Haha.

- Greatest love of your life: Fashion.

- Talent you want: To cook.

- Greatest Achievement: So far, just living.

- Treasure possession: Family.

- Favorite Occupation: Student. Love learning.

- Value in friends: Loyalty.

- How would you like to die: Eww, morbid. I would like to die happily.

- What would you like to come back as, if you had a choice?: A man.

- Motto?: Everything happens for a reason.

- Greatest Extravagance: Clothes.

- Greatest regret: Not being brave enough.

- Quality you admire most in a woman: Strength.

-Quality you admire most in a man: Tenderness.

- Favorite writer?: Not really a writer but poet; Sylvia Plath.

- Dislike most?: Intolerance.


Friday, December 10, 2010

Today's simple things...

1. Hanging your hand out of the car window.
2. When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio.
3. Multi-tasking while brushing your teeth.
4. The parking lot pull thru.
5. Paying for something in exact change.
6. Getting in line before it gets really long.
7. The other side of the pillow.
8. Crying.
9. Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid.
10. Pouring a drink where the bubbles go right to the top but not over.
11. New socks day.
12. Watching something download really fast.
13. When you know your TV remote so well, you don't have to look at the buttons.
14. Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you are going the speed limit anyway.
15. Getting recognized for something you love.
16. Thinking it's Thursday when it's really Friday.
17. Getting the last piece of sleep out of your eye.
18. Sleeping with one leg under the covers and the other leg out.
19. Stepping in the shower when it's already the perfect temperature.
20. When batteries are included.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Simple things in life...

Make the world go round sometimes.

1. The last, crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips.
2. Finding money you didn't know you lost.
3. Being the first table called up for the buffet at a wedding.
4. Picking up Q and U at the same time in Scrabble.
5. Blowing your nose in the shower.
6. Real bearded Santas.
7. Being the guy in the construction crew who gets to hold the 'Stop" sign.
8. Planning for snoozes.
9. Being the first ones in the movie theatre.
10. Sneezing 3 or more times in a row.
11. Rain hair.
12. When cashiers open up new check out lanes.
13. The first shower you take after not showering for a couple of days.
14. Your pillow.
15. The smell of rain on the hot sidewalk.
16. The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter.
17. Finally getting a piece of popcorn out of your teeth.
18. Watching the Price is Right when you're home sick.
19. Getting the eyelash out of your eye.
20. Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row.

To be continued.....

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The time has come, the walrus said.

Dear strong woman,

The time has come. To lay down your armor and sword. You can't fight this battle anymore. You bled your heart out for this fight. You thought it was worth it at the time. Now it's time to pick up the pieces and move on. The battle is over and you lost. But you didn't lose everything. You still have love in your heart. You still have family and friends who adore you and all the love in the world to give someone someday. You will not say anything bad or anything good about this battle. It was hard and you fought until you almost died. You fought so hard, it cost you a lot of things. But you will emerge now with your head held high because you know you did what you could. You didn't want to give up. It wasn't your choice but you can’t go on fighting a battle that your partner has checked out of. You were fighting time and it got too much. You're stubborn so you didn't give up so easily but you can't fight a battle alone and you're no Wonder Woman. This is also a good time too because this is when you find out who is really there for you. Who is really on your side. For some people it will be hard to take a side and you have to understand and don't hold it against them. You're not going to be bitter and not going to go out of your way to make things more difficult for anyone. It's time for you to fight your own battles by yourself. You've got a lot of things to do and this was a lesson learned. A hard lesson. One you shouldn't forget because you don't want to feel this way again. It's hard to go into the future when it seems dark and you've got no more ammunition. You can't fight right now if you wanted to. Now it's time to get on your ship and sail away. It will be hard to navigate alone at first but you'll get the hang of it. And then someone will come along when they are ready and jump on board with you so you can sail off into the sunset What is life with no one to share it with? So go off into the sunset alone and those who matter will follow and catch up eventually.

Vaya Con Dios. X

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Love, Shanette: Patience

You and I just aren't friends, are we? You come and go as you please and it takes everything I've got to hold on for even a little while. I just think we aren't meant to be. But I'm torn because without you, I ruin things; relationships, friendships, I waste money, and sometimes time. Maybe my emotions are too strong for you or maybe they are just out of control but either way, when you're gone, irrational stuff happens. Just to name a few: when you're not around, I tend to get angry; when you're not around, I tend to have a bad time; when you're not around, I tend to screw things up. So can we at least play nice? I mean I try to let you in but then for some reason, you leave me and I’m helpless. Nothing to do but succumb to my out of control emotions. They often suffocate me but with you around, they behave somewhat. They are more calm. They let me think. They let me act without their influence. Can we at least get along until you like me well enough to stay longer? I know we will get along eventually but how many times must I ruin things before you get the picture? I need you. I know you're a virtue and I think that's great but what does a girl have to do to prove she is worthy and ready for you? I guess it has something to do with the fact that you were never around when I was younger. That's why I'm so used to you not being there and so used to listening to my out of control emotions. In turn, they have run rampant and never learned to calm down. Well, now that I'm older, I realize how much I need you and we have a lot to make up for. It won't be easy, patience, but if you are patient with me, we can be really good friends. Maybe even best friends. So teach me what you know. I'm ready to learn.

Love, Shanette

Love, Shanette: Hope

Now it's hopes turn.
I found you. I never really lost you but I'm pretty sure I misplaced you. Made you feel unwelcome. I apoligze for that because you see hope, you are what keeps people going that extra mile, one more day or even that last minute. You run away so fast when we are hurt or beaten down. But please, don't be afraid of me. I know when I'm hurt and angry, you get scared and feel as though I don't want you anymore. But that's your time to shine. It's your turn to prove how big and powerful you are. You make the world go round, if you haven't noticed. You make people rise up when they'd otherwise fall and stay down. You're everywhere, hope. In nature, in love, in a childs' eye. You come out of the darkness at times, you shine so bright. Sometimes, we don't even know you're there. And I need you more than ever, I need you more than air right now. Because honestly, hope, without you my second chance is in vain. You make poeople work harder and dream bigger. So, don't shy away when it gets dark. Shine brighter please, so we can see you.
I've found you hope and I need you to stay around for a while. A long while. There's always a big place for you in my life, just know that you are always welcome. In every circumstance, even if it looks like I've got things under control. I still need you for support and reassurance. To make sure my knees don't buckle and my voice doesn't tremble. I know you've been there for me in the past, that's why I'm still here. Life can be such a drag. And I know you'll be there for me again. Just don't disappear from sight and leave me wondering when you'll show, if you'll show. Because wondering and waiting is the hardest part. These words are flowing out of me faster than I can write, that's how strongly I feel about you. I know you know all this already, I just feel as if writing it down helps me. You are what's keeping me from breaking. Us humans have very flexible hearts. But sometimes, when you leave, our hearts get cold and brittle. And all too often they break and take us down with them. I'm tired of people losing you and breaking. It kills me because I know how that feels. To not want to go on because you are gone. Poets write poems about you, singers write songs about you and everyone tries to analyze you. It all comes down to the simple fact, hope, that everyone needs you. So go out there and show yourself. Show yourself to those who are hurting and who are in the dark and show them the way out. Take their hand just like you've taken mine and save them.

Love, Shanette

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Love, Shanette: One More Chance . . . Where has the time gone?

We are all given second chances, one way or another in our life. I'm the type of person to give second chances and keep giving. I rarely ask. But this time...I asked. I begged and pleaded. I wanted it so bad I could taste it. . . 5250 miles away. I knew it was the only way to keep my sanity. I've never wanted a second chance so much before. I was wrong, I'll admit it. That's why I needed a another chance. To prove I was wrong and I knew it. More like a 1000th chance but who's counting? This time I was really going to lose all I had. I bled my heart for this chance, I gave it my all...even though I may have looked crazy doing it. I know what I want and when I want it bad enough, I'll do whatever it takes. I am a very passionate person and sometimes it comes off as crazy or irrational but there is no price for a second chance. Not a million dollars could get you a REAL second chance. Especially when you know it's worth fighting for. I am also a hopeless romantic and I'm not cut out for certain things...but I try nonetheless. Needless to say, I got that 1001st chance. It's my last chance but it's a chance. A chance for happiness, love, a future, life, a chance to start new and get back what was lost. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm tying a knot and holding on for dear life. Things don't always happen the way we want them to but it's in our nature to want to come out of it in tact. Nobody wants to be broken.

So, to my second chance, thanks for coming around. Thanks for listening to me kick and cry and scream until you couldn't take it anymore. Thanks for believing what's in my heart. I know I've let you down before, second chance, but no more. You have my word, my heart and my love. I am grateful today and everyday forward that you chose to stick around one last time and let me prove to you what I know is meant to be. It will be a chance to remember, a chance of a lifetime and a chance we can tell the grandkids one day. Hope is not dead, I never thought it was. It's just hard to find sometimes. But, if you look harder and scream and cry and fight your way through, you will find it. Just don't lose it, because once you lose hope, its so hard to find. So, second chance, here's to you. Thank you from the bottom of my semi-broken heart and my bruised soul. Thank you for agreeing to help me heal and try again. You won't regret it.

-Love, Shanette

Sunday, November 28, 2010

It's been a while....

I know it's been awhile but I've been exhausted physically working two jobs sometimes 7 days a week and emotionally exhausted. I think I'm going to use this post to vent a little and I did find some great inspiration photos I want to share so after my venting, I will post some pictures to get back into the mood of being inspired.

Let me just tell you a little about myself, in case you don't know. I need to get back to when I was serene and in control. I'm not in control anymore and it's driving me crazy. I used to be so in control. It's just that it's not my personality to let go of control. I guess you could also say I'm very stubborn. I wear my heart on my sleeve, if I'm upset, you will know. I don't pretend and I don't play games. I'm far too old honey. The friends I have are people who I have been there for and who have been there for me. I don't have very many friends because I don't trust easily. The friends I do have, I have known for a long time. Not just people I met yesterday and although I like meeting new people, it takes alot to get me to give my time to someone I just met. The people who get my time are the people who have given me theirs. It's all about respect. So if you're not going to respect me, I will let you know and don't expect me to be there next time you call. I just don't know where respect has gone. Kids don't respect their parents, people don't respect their elders and friends don't respect their friends. Girls backstab and boys toture. It's just getting sad. So when I find someone who respects me, I don't let go because thats a sign of true character. Treat others the way you want to be treated. It's that simple. That black and white. That set in stone. If you don't want to be talked about behind your back, then don't talk about others. If you want someone to be there for you, be there for them. If you want people to respect you, respect them. If you want someone to listen to you, then listen to them. Any questions? Good.

Inspiration. I can't produce when I'm stressed or upset. It sucks. But pictures help and turning my phone off helps and stepping away from the social networking shit helps. Ugh, why do we have to be availability 24/7. Sometimes, you need a break. And I'm ready to take a week off!


Sunday, October 17, 2010

Haus of Shay

I love vintage things. I love things with a history. Things that have been through life. So, naturally antique and vintage stores are my get-away from life. I've always loved the shabby chic look of houses and I will one day own a vintage house made in the 1920's preferably. I read that when times are tough, people tend to turn back to the nostalgic. I think it provides a sort of comfort for when things were stable and life was easy. I always feel as if I was born in the wrong time period. I fantasize of what it would be like to be born in the day and age when Kings and Queens ruled the world and when Native Americans had free range of the land. But, if we are going to be completely honest, I would like to live after the time of anesthesia. I don't do pain. I can't imagine if I needed a tooth pulled or something removed from my body...but I'm drifting. I have a keen eye for beautiful things that others wouldn't necessarily see by just looking at it. You have to have a sort of knack for finding things that look old and useless and make a use for them. Nowadays, alot of vintage things are used as decorations because their functionality is no longer valuable. To me, vintage pieces that are broken have character. Everything breaks eventually. How they broke is the interesting part. So, when I spends hours in antique malls, consignment stores and thrift markets, I'm letting my imagination run wild. It's hard for me because everything can be beautiful. I can find a use for an antique broken tile or a rusted key or a tattered scarf.

All that being said, I decided to indulge myself. I love fashion, I love jewelry and I love sharing these with others. So, I created Haus of Shay. Currently housed at, it's a mix up of vintage things I've either found in perfect condition with no alterations needed or broken and lost pieces that could be created to make new pieces. I love creating things and making things with my hands. I have become somewhat obsessed, seeking out other antique stores and malls to see what I can find and take home to create. Currently,
I have over 100 items on Etsy for immediate sale and probably an equal anount of items not yet ready for sale but almost finished. Everything, ready or not, can be found on my Facebook page, Also, I've decided to share some pictures on my blog. So please take a look here, on Etsy and on my Facebook page for all items and for ways to purchase and for ways to communicate with me. I am open for all questions.

Stay classy and thanks for stopping by. XX

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dear God, can I have?

Dear God, can I have the following? P.S. And can I have Kate Moss' life....without the coke?

All pictures are from