We are all given second chances, one way or another in our life. I'm the type of person to give second chances and keep giving. I rarely ask. But this time...I asked. I begged and pleaded. I wanted it so bad I could taste it. . . 5250 miles away. I knew it was the only way to keep my sanity. I've never wanted a second chance so much before. I was wrong, I'll admit it. That's why I needed a another chance. To prove I was wrong and I knew it. More like a 1000th chance but who's counting? This time I was really going to lose all I had. I bled my heart for this chance, I gave it my all...even though I may have looked crazy doing it. I know what I want and when I want it bad enough, I'll do whatever it takes. I am a very passionate person and sometimes it comes off as crazy or irrational but there is no price for a second chance. Not a million dollars could get you a REAL second chance. Especially when you know it's worth fighting for. I am also a hopeless romantic and I'm not cut out for certain things...but I try nonetheless. Needless to say, I got that 1001st chance. It's my last chance but it's a chance. A chance for happiness, love, a future, life, a chance to start new and get back what was lost. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm tying a knot and holding on for dear life. Things don't always happen the way we want them to but it's in our nature to want to come out of it in tact. Nobody wants to be broken.
So, to my second chance, thanks for coming around. Thanks for listening to me kick and cry and scream until you couldn't take it anymore. Thanks for believing what's in my heart. I know I've let you down before, second chance, but no more. You have my word, my heart and my love. I am grateful today and everyday forward that you chose to stick around one last time and let me prove to you what I know is meant to be. It will be a chance to remember, a chance of a lifetime and a chance we can tell the grandkids one day. Hope is not dead, I never thought it was. It's just hard to find sometimes. But, if you look harder and scream and cry and fight your way through, you will find it. Just don't lose it, because once you lose hope, its so hard to find. So, second chance, here's to you. Thank you from the bottom of my semi-broken heart and my bruised soul. Thank you for agreeing to help me heal and try again. You won't regret it.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
I know it's been awhile but I've been exhausted physically working two jobs sometimes 7 days a week and emotionally exhausted. I think I'm going to use this post to vent a little and I did find some great inspiration photos I want to share so after my venting, I will post some pictures to get back into the mood of being inspired.
Let me just tell you a little about myself, in case you don't know. I need to get back to when I was serene and in control. I'm not in control anymore and it's driving me crazy. I used to be so in control. It's just that it's not my personality to let go of control. I guess you could also say I'm very stubborn. I wear my heart on my sleeve, if I'm upset, you will know. I don't pretend and I don't play games. I'm far too old honey. The friends I have are people who I have been there for and who have been there for me. I don't have very many friends because I don't trust easily. The friends I do have, I have known for a long time. Not just people I met yesterday and although I like meeting new people, it takes alot to get me to give my time to someone I just met. The people who get my time are the people who have given me theirs. It's all about respect. So if you're not going to respect me, I will let you know and don't expect me to be there next time you call. I just don't know where respect has gone. Kids don't respect their parents, people don't respect their elders and friends don't respect their friends. Girls backstab and boys toture. It's just getting sad. So when I find someone who respects me, I don't let go because thats a sign of true character. Treat others the way you want to be treated. It's that simple. That black and white. That set in stone. If you don't want to be talked about behind your back, then don't talk about others. If you want someone to be there for you, be there for them. If you want people to respect you, respect them. If you want someone to listen to you, then listen to them. Any questions? Good.
Inspiration. I can't produce when I'm stressed or upset. It sucks. But pictures help and turning my phone off helps and stepping away from the social networking shit helps. Ugh, why do we have to be availability 24/7. Sometimes, you need a break. And I'm ready to take a week off!