Thursday, December 2, 2010

Love, Shanette: Patience

You and I just aren't friends, are we? You come and go as you please and it takes everything I've got to hold on for even a little while. I just think we aren't meant to be. But I'm torn because without you, I ruin things; relationships, friendships, I waste money, and sometimes time. Maybe my emotions are too strong for you or maybe they are just out of control but either way, when you're gone, irrational stuff happens. Just to name a few: when you're not around, I tend to get angry; when you're not around, I tend to have a bad time; when you're not around, I tend to screw things up. So can we at least play nice? I mean I try to let you in but then for some reason, you leave me and I’m helpless. Nothing to do but succumb to my out of control emotions. They often suffocate me but with you around, they behave somewhat. They are more calm. They let me think. They let me act without their influence. Can we at least get along until you like me well enough to stay longer? I know we will get along eventually but how many times must I ruin things before you get the picture? I need you. I know you're a virtue and I think that's great but what does a girl have to do to prove she is worthy and ready for you? I guess it has something to do with the fact that you were never around when I was younger. That's why I'm so used to you not being there and so used to listening to my out of control emotions. In turn, they have run rampant and never learned to calm down. Well, now that I'm older, I realize how much I need you and we have a lot to make up for. It won't be easy, patience, but if you are patient with me, we can be really good friends. Maybe even best friends. So teach me what you know. I'm ready to learn.

Love, Shanette

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