Friday, October 23, 2009


So I've decided, in this hard time of mine, that this blog can also be an outlet to my emotions right now. This long distance thing is extremely hard but I think when I need to just vent, this would be a good place to do it. It's easy when I'm not really in the mood to sit with someone and talk. I get to chat with the boyfriend everyday but it's the physical part that gets to me. Not having him sitting next to me on the couch or in the car or cuddling in bed gets to me. I cry myself to sleep sometimes because I miss him so much it hurts. But I know this is just a test of our love and we will prevail. I'll be here waiting when he comes back for good because I've never known a love like this and he makes me the best person I can be. It's at times frustrating because I've been so used to having him with me all the time and never leaving one another's side. And at times I take the frustration out on him and I know it's not right but he is a patient soul and he tries to make things better for me and I love him for that. It means he truly cares for me. I think this was the best time for him to go though because its coming up on the holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving, his birthday, my birthday, Christmas and New Years, there's alot to look forward to so hopefully this season will zoom by! But maybe not zoom by too fast when he comes to visit for Christmas. I have to learn to enjoy every moment I spend with him and with others, because you never know when something can happen that will tear your world apart and hand it back to you and then spit in your face. At the time the boyfriend left, I was losing him for 2 years and then I lost my job and then I got a horrific rash all over my face. So when I say that I got my world torn up and handed back to me and then got spit in the eye, I really mean it. Haha.

Everything is better now though. I'm learning to deal with the boyfriend being in another country for 2 years and I have my days but he is amazing at handling it.

Anyways, I still put some pictures up on this post because it makes me happy to do so. :)


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